


Without You

by saltyfandombrat



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, can be read as platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:08:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyfandombrat/pseuds/saltyfandombrat
Summary: Jace had always made bad decisions, but risking himself to activate the sword crossed the line.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Kudos: 15





	Without You

To say Alec was furious would be an understatement. Ever since Jace activated the sword, he felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe. That was a cliché thing to say, but he really meant it. Things had been non-stop too, he had to run damage control so much that he hadn’t gotten a chance to confront his parabatai over his stupid decision. Which only gave him more time to think about how angry he was. It made things worse because he _knew_ Jace was purposefully ignoring him. As soon as he was free, he went to find him and his eyes widened as soon as he saw the older Shadowhunter approaching him, crossing his arms. 

“We’re not talking about this,” Jace’s voice was soft, vulnerable in a way that Alec didn’t usually hear from him, but the bite in his tone was hard to miss. He shook his head with his words, trying to shut down the conversation before it could even begin. Through his life, he had gotten pretty good at deflecting from serious talks, especially when it came to Alec. He let him get away with pretty much everything, but this time was different. This time, his dismissal made him feel worse about their situation and he wouldn’t let himself be distracted. They were going to talk about it, whether Jace wanted to or not. 

“Yes, we are!” Alec didn’t raise his voice most of the time, he hated yelling, especially at Jace. The rage seemed to be bottling up more and more in his chest, his parabatai acting so indifferent to the situation wasn’t helping his anger at all either. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get why he was so upset. Why he was acting like _Alec_ was the one being irrational. He was trembling as he caught Jace’s wrist in one hand, yanking him back a little harder than necessary and he knew he’d feel awful about it later. But right then, nothing was in his mind except for what could have happened. 

“You know what would have happened if you were actually able to activate that sword,” Alec started, trying to keep his voice from shaking and failing miserably as he stared down at Jace. He still had that defiant look on his face that he had when he was being exceptionally stubborn. Normally, Alec didn’t mind it and he thought it was cute even, but now it just made him feel bitter inside. “You would have died and you were just going to let me deal with that aftermath! How could you do something like that to me, Jace?” Alec demanded, feeling as though he was finally letting go of all the emotions he had been holding in. 

“Alec...I’m sorry,” Jace’s voice broke on his name and part of Alec knew that he could never stay mad at Jace. He _wasn’t_ mad at Jace. He was scared and worried, he was upset that he could have lost his parabatai. That was easily his worst nightmare, it always had been, he couldn’t stomach the thought of anything happening to Jace. And now his feelings were being treated like they didn’t matter, like he was crazy for being upset. But there were tears burning behind Jace’s eyes and seeing him so upset somehow felt worse than the fear of losing him, knowing that he was part of why he was crying. 

“I don’t know how to exist in a world without you, Jace...” Alec whispered out to him, all the anger and resentment in his voice gone now as he looked at his parabatai. He could never stay upset at Jace. Maybe that was why he pulled him in as soon as he reached out for a hug. He rested his chin on his shoulder like he always did when they hugged, tucking his face into his warm throat, and sighing against his skin quietly. Maybe that was why. The more plausible explanation was that he needed it, maybe more than Jace did, he needed to hug him. Just any confirmation that Jace was alive and real, safe in his arms. 


End file.
